I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
