why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
