We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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