I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
