hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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