there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
