I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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