my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
where are my eyebrows?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
