there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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