Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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