im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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