She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
