hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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