I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
