If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
