i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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