I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
