He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
