The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
