two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
