Well douche your snatch and let's go!
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize