i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
My vagina is very pro this idea
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