You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
