Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
