OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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