I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Randomize
