My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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