Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
