Why are handjobs necessary in class?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
