I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
