Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize