she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize