We're facebook friends in real life
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
The best revenge is premature balding
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize