I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize