Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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