this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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