i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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