I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize
