my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
