I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
