Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
