We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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