I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
