I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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