So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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