My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize