he was CRYING into my vagina
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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