well I can't set my house on fire every night
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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