TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I didn't notice because vodka
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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