do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
what day is it and did you see me today?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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