we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
