Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
