Porn is love you can see.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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