how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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