The maid of honor just puked.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I need to align my fucking chakras
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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