So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
