My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
tell me about the eggs
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
