exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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