just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
