You're completely useless in the revolution.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
