Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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