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Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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