I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
