You're my little dorito
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
