i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
