Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
