That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
