she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
